My Testimony

This is my new start to my testimony. I once was lost, A drug addict and a love addict. I spent so many days in mental and emotional pain. My answer to this pain was to run to anything that would help to numb that pain. Men, drugs, television, and friendships were all to easy for me to run to. I never knew any better. Thinking I was a Christian since I was a little child I have struggled to find my testimony. Where do I fit in? What changed me? I don't know. I am working to find the answers. Was it in my teens when God called me? I don't know. I answered yet I did not obey for long. I ran again. Was it in my twenties when I wanted to die? I wanted to follow Him but I didn't have the strength to stay. Was it in my 30's when terrible tragedy once again fell upon my life. I don't know. I still ran away. Now in my 40's I look back and wonder if I have changed at all. I know I have, yet, do I still run? I'm looking for help to find the right way to testify of what my Jesus has done for me. How do I go on without the answers? God will lead me and I know some of my friends or people who read this can help.